i'm used to watching life peel away
its layers and reveals its innards.
it can be the warm cadence of some
beating heart,
or the swollen salivary
glands of someone or something
with a larger appetite for living
than i've ever known.
all the same, i watch.
but i do even
more than that.
i mean that i exercise
my beliefs into existence.
i mean that i rode the fucking
elliptical all the way to
God's front porch every day
for 13 years just to limp home
with mosquito bites and
more questions.
and it's better that way,
because if i saw that fuck
i would thank him for thrusting
me into a life of longing over
things controlled by the same
forces that stop me from
skating on lily pads or being
hanged from the moon
or laughing over all of this
with someone else.
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